I am an individual with a diverse perspective. A leader who is not afraid to break the status quo to enact change.

Poetry
1) People tell me life is supposed to be easy
but then they tell me that I care too much
They tell me that I am an overthinker
They tell me that I am too hard on myself
They tell me I am not good enough
They tell me that I try too hard
but then they say life is supposed to be easy
I wonder who I’m supposed to believe
the person that encourages
or the person that tells me I’m not good enough
while the irony is that its the same person
its their one thought that splits me into two
and that is something I struggle with

2) I think to myself
if another individual can have two sides to them
I wonder if I to0 have multiple sides to me
and I ponder about it when people meet me
and I think about which side of me did they get to see
“Was I liked” or “Was I hated”
and that is something I struggle with

3) I walk through the park
without my earphones for a change
and listen to the sounds of the world
dogs barking, children playing, leaves rustling, wind blowing
I say ‘Hello’ to the passers by and give them a wide smile
while my eyes try not to give away
the darkness that is running through my mind
It’s in this darkness, that I fight my demons
like a lone warrior on a battlefield
its a fight that seems endless
and that is something I struggle with

4) You see me outside and you come over to chat
You ask me a question
but get a blank stare in return
the thought train seems to have left the station
with no hopes of ever coming back
I frantically think of an answer
that will dazzle you and leave you in awe
except my mind things in a foreign language
I’m an immigrant who doesn’t always have it easy with words
and that is something I struggle with

5) I want to shout
let out all the thoughts
that have been brewing in my mind
caging themselves inside
for being out in the world
is to be vulnerable
and to be vulnerable
is to be weak
and being weak
means the world will walk all over you
…
There could not be a more incorrect notion than that
yet
that is one
my mind chooses to adopt
and that is something I struggle with

6) Quite often, we choose other people
instead of choosing ourselves
and build homes not in places
but in people
but what happens
when the people leave
and the home
you built inside of them
leaves with them
leaving you
with 4 walls but no roof
a heart that is hurting
and a lost version of you
…
and that is something I struggle with

7) Things I struggle with
is not a poem
but a story of my life
Stress, Anxiety, and tension are my new best friends
One tells me I am lonely
One tells me I will never have friends
One tells me that my future will not hold anything for me
Yet there is my heart,
though outmatched by the other 3 friends
sends me reminders every now and then
I am loved
My friends love and adore me, and I them
My friends accept me for who I am
with every passing day, I feel more and more comfortable in my own skin, and isn’t that a beautiful thought
My future is in my hands and I decide where to take life
I am in charge of my happiness
It is okay to take care of my cup before filling it for others
and lastly, I am capable, I am the force
I am enough

Monologue

8) Mental health as a topic gets talked about a lot and it is one that is extremely close to my heart
I am confident that you’ve heard that exact phrase from other individuals as well
To clarify, I am in no way a mental health speaker and this is not me preaching to you
but rather sharing my experience, my journey, my feelings
I smile in front of you and look happy, and I would like to think that I am
but that does not mean that I do not have any dark days
the days where I lack energy to get out of bed
the days where I force a smile on my face
the days where I ignore phone calls while I watch the phone ring
the days when I cringe when I look at myself in the mirror
the days when I doubt every action I take
the days where I am scared to do anything alone
and the list goes on
The truth is that there are a lot of humans in this world
unhappy humans
on the search for happiness
while the only barrier that stands in the way is us.
There were times when I was scared of spending time alone due to the thoughts I would have,
and it took me years to realize that I am in control of my thoughts,
and my mind
that I can choose what to think about
and I can choose to think of thoughts that would make me happy
choose to call people and let them know that I miss them
choose to tell someone that I am not doing well and that I need them
choose to tell myself that I am doing my best
and that I am proud of myself
for doing everything in my power
to be who I am
I can love myself
and I do
not because I should
but because I deserve it
and to me, the day I fall in love with myself would be the day I would think to myself that I have made inroads on this journey of mental health
and once again, that does not mean that I won’t have the dark days
but it means
that no matter what happens
I’ll be ready for it
for I’ll have myself right next to me.